Your partner can be a world-famous show (or even salon) tango instructor, or the most skilled follower in the local tango community, but she would still not come close to what dancing with a milonguera like Elba (or Susy Tilbe – Man Yung had a chance to dance with her on the first day of our first visit to Buenos Aires) feels like. “Milonguera” seems to be a state of mind that could be transmitted to the leader when the milonguera follows. It is a deep feeling, which also feels like complete freedom. You don’t have to worry about whether your partner can follow or not follow, or whether something would be “too tricky” or “too plain” or “too easy” or “too difficult”. The milonguera dances to enjoy the dance, she is not anxious about being able to follow everything that the leader is trying to do (even though she can, and she does), nor does she care. It was as if Elba had given Man Yung the order to “dance, dance!” and that was all he needed to do – to dance.

via Irene and Man Yung’s Tango Blog: Buenos Aires 2008 – Part 4.

Should an advanced leader be able to lead anything with any woman?

A philosfical intermezzo. A typical female quality in dancing is that, if you imagine the man as a explorer of new worlds and her as the treasure, who is to be discovered, he will be inspired on his journey. He knows all the highways and the byways, and she knows the hidden mysterious places. With each and every move he discovers her beauty and also his own, because he sees his reflection in her. The interesting thing is that if he is not yet in contact with her, he can go in every direction. He has unlimited possibilities, creativity and inspiration. But in the end he is only able to move in one direction.

So, at the moment he joins her in an embrace, she incorporates it all in her feminine qualities and there only remains one movement which can go all ways. This is the energetic aspect of dancing tango, the way I experience it. This is typical of the female role. The development lies in the weaving, the incorporation, which, as a matter of fact, is a rather active role considering her female capacities. And for him the quality lies in the surrendering, the letting go and trusting her, so that he can feel free. In return you will get a freedom of moving. As a woman I have learned that I can take an active part in this.

In a longer communication with Ulysses, he detailed what it would take to swallow the red pill. ”Dave, are you willing to accept that:”

* all of your beliefs of Tango are not true

* you will be compelled to forgive and love the most snobby of tangueras and arrogant of tangueros

* you will fully understand why people burn out and/ or become disinterested in Tango, but can not just tell them why, for telling them will only deepen their dissatisfaction

* if you ever want to show the Tango Matrix to another, you can’t just show them it, but only lead them ever so craftily to rabbit hole where they will have to choose the red or blue pill on their own

* you will have to accept the nature of humanity, including its ugliness, and how it shows up in Tango

* you will have to be kind to even the most superficial and narcissistic of people in Tango

* you will have to go beyond your inherent coding of how you want to act in Tango

* at times you have acted dishonorably in Tango

* you will have to forgive yourself

* you must stop your fight against the unbearable lightness of being – what you referred to in your writings, and flirt with it and accept it

* being a fool in Tango and taken advantage of is of greater value than being guarded and protected

* take nothing in Tango personally

Ulysses left me with these last two items needed to be willing to accept – the hardest two as he put it-

1. you must have absolute faith (different than religion) as it is the only power of personal creation

2. you must absolutely trust that life energy/ Universe is not neutral, but conspires to assist you and compels you to be better at ALL times

via Tango For Life » The Tango Matrix Part 3- Neo’s Incessant Inkling.

The first thing I endeavor to find out with any Tango student is their underlying motivation for taking a class or private. Then and only then can I actually help them, for what I teach and how I teach Tango changes, based upon their motivation. As a student, you can help your teachers instruct you by getting very clear of why you are in Tango and then telling them!

In Tango, I have found 6 big underlying reasons people get into it. This list is by no means comprehensive: to experience connection; to get into a casual or significant relationship; to experience community; to engage in another recreation/ hobby; to learn body skills and the experience that comes with moving and learning with the body; and lastly, to actually learn Tango. In other words, most people I have asked really are not learning Tango just for the learning, but some payoff – connection, relationship, community, recreation, and/ or body skills.

via Tango For Life » Tangasm Dangers Part 2-Alignment.

It will be a journal for myself to document the path which does not yet have a direction, nor a goal.